it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
