Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
