I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
two words: eviction party
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
