WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
