even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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