I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
