Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
