I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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