i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
