Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
