Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
