I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
