are you still at the devil's house?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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