Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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