Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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