Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
