New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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