It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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