where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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