haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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