the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
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Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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