I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
as a side note pls kill me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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