At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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