Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
