yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
