Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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