So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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