I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
