i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
