if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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