she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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