maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
