guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize