He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
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I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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