I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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