but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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