omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
