i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
