Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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