clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
