we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
