I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
