He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm really busy with my period
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