Already got asked if we're dating
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize