big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
