she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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