Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
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SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
These tits shall not be calmed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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