You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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