so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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