i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize