Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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