He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
