Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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