when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
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Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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