She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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