How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize