In America we eat man semen.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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