I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize