I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize