cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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