No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
