You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
