Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
